Crash & Burn

“What? Krista this is only your 5th blog post. How dare you say crash & burn? You haven’t even tried.”

I assure you that I’m not giving up. I’ve dug myself into a creative slump. I have ideas, topics, and even half-written drafts that I want to share with you all, but little motivation to accomplish them.

Out of everything I want to share, I’ve decided to talk to you about anxiety. I know… it’s a serious subject for a 5th blog post, but it’s an important one.

I have anxiety.

Now who saw that coming? Right… so I have safety anxiety, which was a term that a behavioral doctor used with me. I don’t know if it’s a thing or if she was just trying to help me label it. Basically, I’m always stressing over safety.

When I go out in public, I stress about knowing where all of the exits are in case of emergency. When a stranger walks too close to me for too long, I begin to panic over what their intentions are. At night, I have to talk myself off a ledge and convince myself that my house is not going to burn down and no one is trying to break in. We determined that there are events in my past that do cater to the why of my anxiety.

Someone told me once that it was all in my head. I laughed out loud and said “well you are not wrong.” While my doctor was going over grounding procedures, she reiterated this idea. It IS in your head. Your brain doesn’t know that these things are not happening as you are thinking & stressing about them. Your brain is sending signals to the rest of your body to alert them of the idea you are dwelling on. So your body feels on edge because your brain feels on edge.

She gave me tips to help ground myself when my thoughts start wandering off the paved path of normalcy. So why have I been a little behind on posting? My anxiety has been very high lately. I haven’t been sleeping very well and when I’m awake, my brain is working overtime.

I simply crashed and burned.

I started 2019 with all of these hopes & goals. And then our household dynamic shifted, which caused my anxiety to skyrocket. All I ask is that my new readers be patient while I work to pull myself together. I’ll be back very soon with home projects, recipes, gardening, fun posts, and more. I just need to work on me first.

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